Posts Tagged ‘Authenticity’
What Am I Lying To Myself About?
This passage is from Nathaniel Branden's The Art of Living Consciously. When we evade the truth about those we deal with, for fear of disturbing the relationship, we set ourselves up for inevitable suffering. If I am honest with myself about someone's shortcomings but choose to go on dealing with him or her because of other benefits, and therefore do not complain or express shock if the shortcomings express themselves, I amnot engaged in evasion or self-deception. I am in effect taking a calculated risk based on what amounts to a cost-benefit analysis. But if I choose not to be conscious of plainly apparent dangers 0r if I deny or rationalize my spouse's abusiveness, pretend not to see evidence of infidelity, or, in business, if I make myself oblivious to the shortcomings of a deal because I want so much for the project to work - then I am inviting the pain and disappointment I will experience. I have forfeited the right to cry "betrayal." I have disarmed myself, and by my cooperation I have signaled my partner that his or her behavior is acceptable and there is no need or reason to change. ++++ Branden's book has impacted my life; I recommend that you buy a copy. --Dave Charbonneau
Guest Blogger: One Foot in Front of the Other
By Kelly Ellis, of Sole Obsession In grade 6 I wore a size 10 shoe. I can remember crying in the department store when my mom took me to buy shoes. The salesperson coughed back a chuckle as he mockingly asked, "What size?" and then told my mother that they didn't carry many shoes up to that size. The options? Ugly, big and beige. Not a 12 year olds dream...that's for sure. So I did what any normal girl would do. I picked out the style that I liked. Tried it on in a size 9 and claimed it fit perfectly. And then I hobbled around school with painful toes. Isn't that what you would have done? I could not go to school with those "other" shoes. So I proceeded through life, feeling like a weirdo with my big feet and too small shoes. Living with in-grown toenails, blisters, and painful feet became the norm. At some point the world began to take notice of those of us needing bigger shoes and size 10 wasn't so hard to find. That is for those who were fully grown - I on the other hand had just started so my feet continued to outgrow the norm. In high school I wore a size 11. Once again faced with the issue of finding shoes "that big" was all consuming. My mother's days of shopping with a very grumpy child were not over and I recall the torture she was put through as I lamented over crazy ideas such as not being able to get married because "no one would marry someone with such big feet". I began to deal with my frustration with the shoe world by only wearing men's shoes. Shopping at a store where someone spoke to me was out of the question. I preferred outlet stores where I could pick shoes off the shelf in the men's section, try them on, and then pretend to be buying them for someone else. No one would have to know my plight. NO ONE. Of course, the guy-shoe-thing prevented any form of dressing up. An upcoming wedding would throw me into a state of panic. Flip flops became my dress shoe of choice. Fast forward a couple of years, a husband and 3 kids later. (Yes, I did find someone to marry me who didn't even notice I had big feet until I pointed them out. What a sweetheart!) After being pregnant 3 times my feet have turned into the lovely duo they are today. A beautiful, BIG size 12. What is a girl going to do with such a problem but open a shoe store? And so we come to the present. A problem, turned passion. I love helping people find shoes that fit. From little too big and everything in between you have come to the right place. There will be no snorting, chuckling, or secret sharing here. I am not shocked by any feet that walk through the door. I just love to help find that shoe that is the "perfect fit". I cannot think of a better feeling than having someone tell me that they can't find shoes anywhere, and then helping them find them at Sole Obsession. It's what I do and I love it. ++++ DCsays> Thanks a bunch, Kelly, for this post. Love the story! I'm excited to meet you in person, [...]
Dearest Manymoon…
I love FUN people. Folks who believe in the value they create tend toward an easy-to-be-around attitude that often involves a bit of relaxed humor. I started writing a letter to Manymoon, an online project management service. They have a free service and a fee-based level of service, and I (currently) had the need to go back to free. As I started typing, it occurred to me that this sounded much like a "Dear John" letter, so I went with it. What's really great about this isn't my letter, nor the response I got back - tho those are funny - but that the company representative (owner?) responded to me in like-kind. Not with a form-letter, but with a letter that not only addressed my concerns, but addressed them in a "language" he knew I would understand. (BTW, form-letters are fine, but I try to add a bit of personality to any form letters I send out). On Thu, Apr 1, 2010 at 9:12 PM, Dave Charbonneau <appliedprosperity@gmail.com> wrote: Dearest Manymoon: Hi, it's me. After singing your praises to thousands, I'm afraid I need to downgrade my service to a level of FREE. No, no... it's not you, it's me. I just need some time for myself. Actually, yes. It IS because of my wife. We won't be taking on the number of clients we were at one time planning. Please don't make this harder than it already is. Wha... no, I.... Look, you KNEW I was married when we started this together; and I think you also knew I wasn't ever going to leave her. That said, I need us to end our service agreement. Oh, Manymoon. I will always have a special place in my heart for you. Of course we can still be friends. Maybe in the future... I know. I love you too. "Have A Nice Dave." :) --Dave Charbonneau, Funny Head www.FunnySaysWhat.com The Response: Dear Dave:We were hoping, planning, dreaming, of a long future together. We knew you were married, and.. well, we knew that it wouldn't be a problem. In fact, we designed Manymoon to be able to work around these relationship issues... but apparently, there are other forces that have, sadly, but some distance between us. Well, since we still love you, we will tell you that can downgrade your account in Paypal by using the following this procedure: Let us know if you have any other questions... and we will take you back anytime. Thanks - Michael Manoochehri Manymoon Customer Service Photo Credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/elward-photography/ / CC BY 2.0 http://manymoon.com
the good, the bad, the ugly (and socks)
they say we learn more in times of discomfort and challenge than we learn when everything is sunshine and lollipops. i'm not sure who "they" are, but I wish they'd stop saying crap like that. today i find myself ache-ing and nauseous. i'm thinking food poisoning of some sort, as my wife is now following in my slow, soft-stepping footsteps. so, that's the ugly part. the bad part is that neither of us can figure out exactly what it was that caused this. the kids are fine. now we find ourselves not wanting to eat much. here we've got the bad and the ugly. where's the good? what is the lesson in all of this. oddly enough, it comes from those soft footsteps. stepping softly - because my body hurts - somehow reminded me of high school. see, in high school, i always carried this reservation with me. it wasn't that i wasn't happy; i had my fair share of happiness along w/emotional ups & downs. it was just that i found i was holding back. i don't know how to articulate it clearly. in fact, i didn't even recognize this reservation until years later, looking back. in this reflection i wondered how much more happiness i would have gotten out of life if i would have let go and trust that i could handle life and that life would handle me. so, here i am today. achey and certainly reserve in my motions. yet in my entrepreneurial life i'm doing things i absolutely love. the talk show (Up In Your Biz!) has me out meeting people who are passionate about their business. i've plenty of projects ready to start moving forward as well. yet, today i wondered: am i back to my old self? am i missing out on some of what life has to offer? as they say: if you have to ask, the answer is likely 'yes.' durn them thar 'they', anyway). so, as i sit here desiring to hurl until my socks come out my mouth, this is a great day; for as i start feeling better and better, i can also shed any reservations toward living in this grand adventure called life! . "Have A Great Dave." :) --Dave C. Image Credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/barkbud/ / CC BY 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/dainec/ / CC BY-SA 2.0
Defiantly, we should talk (or, ‘Definitely,’ even)
I came across an article title that had just the kind of defiant attitude required to pique my curiosity. After reading the article, the pique-ee-ness had been confirmed. For that very reason (and because the author reminded me a bit of Nick Nolte) I asked, begged, and pleaded Nick, er... Derek to let me feature him as a Guest Blogger here at SelfEnterpriser.com. Derek was most gracious, and said he was 'in' (but also added that he might someday call on me to bake him a cake with a file hidden inside of it and have it delivered wherever he may be at the time. Strange request, but seemed harmless enough). And now... Derek Haines. +++++ I Am Glad I Do Not Have A Publisher By Derek Haines This may seem like a silly ‘sour grapes’ attitude, but I have my reasons for being happy and content, plodding along on my own. Many reasons in fact, but most of them revolve around the fact that I react very badly to doing what someone tells me to do. Or in other words, I am hopeless at deadlines, appointments, regimentation, work hours, discipline and generally behaving responsibly. This said, the single most important reason for me is that I can write what I want to write, and not what I am told to write, or what is saleable and marketable to write. My current work in progress novel has me scratching my head at the moment trying to decide what genre it will fit into. It is sort of a cross between adventure, sci/fi, medical, romance, political, drama, comedy, satire, historical and allegorical. The only thing I think I have left out are car chases and cowboys. Now this follows on from my previous four books which were absolutely nothing like this at all. Poetry, essay, historical fiction and life drama. My long winded at arriving to point here is that if I had achieved any success with my previous books, and I was guided by a publisher, I would probably have to recreate something similar to my previous success. That’s what marketing is about. Recreating the recipe that worked. Thinking Angels & Demons and Da Vinci Code here. But I am not that capable, talented or disciplined. You may call it ‘sour grapes’ but I am very happy writing what I want to write and trying my hand at a number of genres before I curl up my toes. At least it will hopefully give my grandchildren some variety to read. Original Article Derek's Vandal Blog www.derekhaines.ch Derek on Twitter Derek's Author Page ++++++++++ Thanks again to Derek for Guest-Blogging today!
2010 called; it asked for Relatability.
Found an article on adding your personal "voice" to one's website. I thought it a great lesson on communications in general. Here is part of what I read: ++++ (For the full article and other Stoney deGeyter articles, go HERE.) Developing your voice Before you start developing your web content you first need to determine what kind of voice you want your site to have and how you'll ultimately deploy it. A voice can really be anything: Humorous Serious Whimsical Snarky Flowery Thoughtful Brutally honest Down to earth Chances are good that your mind started speaking to you in each voice as you read the bullet point above. If not, read through it again and let your mind convert the words into examples in your mind. Just by reading the words you can really see how these voices can really come through with well-written content. You just need to decide what voice it is that will fit best with your company and your audience. You may think that your industry is limited to just one voice, but it all really depends on how well you sell it. Let's create some quick examples: Humorous: Our car batteries are durable, long-lasting and deliver enough power to start any vehicle in the harshest winter environment. Your escape from the in-law's is guaranteed every season of year. Serious: Our car batteries are durable, long-lasting and deliver enough power to start any vehicle in the harshest winter environment. You're guaranteed to get power to your vehicle when you need it most. Whimsical: You want a durable, long-lasting battery? Yeah, we got that. There is no natural force in the world that'll keep our batteries from doing their job. When you need power, we deliver. Snarky: When headed to the in-law's you want to be equipped with one of the most powerful car batteries money can buy. Come hell or high water, you're getting out of there alive! Flowery: Our car batteries are designed to withstand whatever forces of nature that heaven above (or you know who below) can throw at it. When you turn that key, you're vehicle will roar to life without so much as a cough or sputter. Thoughtful: Let's face it, batteries only fail at the worst possible time, in the worst possible location. We've built reliability into all of our car batteries so they deliver the power you need when you need it to get you to where you would rather be. Brutally honest: Your boss is a jerk, your wife can be a nag and your friends act like idiots. Everybody needs an escape. Where you escape to is up to you, but how is up to us. Our car batteries are durable, long-lasting and deliver enough power to start any vehicle any time any where. We're ready to go when you are. Down to earth: We know that you can find cheaper car batteries from those other guys. We're not competing on price, we're competing on quality. Our batteries are durable, long-lasting and deliver enough power to start any vehicle in the harshest winter environment. Can you really put a [...]
